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Trying to sleep but my eyes open wide
With voices whispering from every side
Battles in my mind and nowhere to hide
a futile resistance against the rising tide

Thought after thought taunting my soul
As this constant barrage takes its toll
Eating away slowly now a gaping hole
My mind going crazy and out of control

I search frantically and fail in despair
For something elusive which was always there
Something tossed away without a care
its prolonged absence I can no longer bear

Peace of mind I no longer possess,
A nightmarish life I must confess
So much hardships and so much stress
A constant companion is pain and distress

Tossing and turning all night long
miserable and sad -everything is wrong
what is life? and where do I belong?
Millions of questions and all answers gone

My heart is riddled with grief and sorrow
And with these thoughts my tears flow
All hope lost my heart sinks low
Without a care what happens tomorrow

Finely balanced on the edge of a knife
I see the stranger who lives my life
an emotionless tyrant causing havoc and strife
A corrupted soul where ignorance is rife

My whole world is hypocrisy and lies
And no more goodness do I recognise
Everything I possess I begin to despise
And this voice inside, I hear its cries

Of a promise made before the days of old
In a meeting with my lord - I am told
That forever in my heart, tawheed I would hold
A promise broken for a miserable price sold

This murmuring voice so long ignored
To delay it further, I can not afford
So this mission of truth, I have taken aboard
With conviction my shield and truth my sword

An uphill struggle an eternal fight
Battle-lines drawn between wrong and right
Returning to my lord, I head for the light
Submerged in Salah is my only respite

Lifting my hands to my lord I pray
'let ignorance go and let faith stay
Through your mercy show me the way
Give me guidance so that I can obey'

With an open heart I read the Quran
I discover my Creator's will and plan
Word of my Lord, a guidance for man
Missing pieces restored now I am one

Content and happy, no more tears to weep
Content and happy, I fall asleep
Peace and happiness with faith running deep
Peace and happiness - forever to keep

Dedicated to my brothers and sisters out there who are looking for peace from a brother who has found it in Salah and in the worship of his Lord.

Zahid Bin Ghulam